Everton 3 Newcastle United 2

The world’s most sporadically updated Everton fan blog is back – roused from its slumber by the thrill of living life on the edge with Bobby Brown Shoes, and ready to provide a half-arsed alternative to its more engaging contemporaries.

Everton sauntered into fourth place last night after three first-half goals proved enough to secure maximum points against an eventually-resilient Newcastle United.

On-loan striker Romelu Lukaku made one of the more eagerly anticipated Goodison Park debuts in recent memory, and the imposing Belgian certainly didn't disappoint. Having already had one goal disallowed, Jose Mourinho’s latest scourge opened the scoring on five minutes when his shot deflected in off Tim Krul after fantastic work from Kevin Mirallas down the right wing.

Lukaku then turned provider, sliding in Ross Barkley with the sort of subtle pass that many Evertonians had forgotten existed outside of video games. The England youngster took the ball in his stride and clipped it effortlessly beyond the on-rushing Krul before Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa or Fabricio Coloccini could so much as think about stopping him.

The theme of Everton scoring types of goals that they usually concede continued with the third, when Coloccini and Krul decided to take a page out of Johnny Heitinga and Tim Howard’s co-written book on meeting long balls with passive resistance. Howard himself was the architect, sticking two fingers up at Roberto Martinez before unleashing an almighty hoof which Lukaku chased down with actual, un-Nikica Jelavic-like intent. The Newcastle goalkeeper and defenders decided that they really didn't fancy it, and Lukaku was able to dummy past the sliding Coloccini and tap into an empty net.

Alan Pardew, who has quietened down a bit since being relegated from ‘another league’, made two changes at half-time, introducing early Michael Dawson prototype Mike Williamson and the excellent France international Yohan Cabaye. The substitutions paid dividends almost immediately, as Yoan Gouffran’s effort off the post was followed shortly after by a fantastic shot from Cabaye which left Howard with no chance.

Everton panicked a bit at this point and lost the measure of control which has been a hallmark of Martinez’s early tenure. The game started to open up and there were glimpses of the suicide bomber football which Martinez’s Wigan teams became synonymous with, though in fairness the Blues really should have had a fourth when Leon Osman somehow managed to deflect the magnificent Seamus Coleman’s drilled cross away from danger.

There were also chances late on when Gerard Deulofeu, who sometimes looks like the yin to Royston Drenthe’s insane yang, opened up Newcastle with blistering runs down the flanks only to fluff his lines by shooting when the angle was against him and there were teammates arriving in better positions.

The obligatory heart-stopping finish was ensured when, with barely a minute of normal time remaining, Loic Remy latched on to a seemingly harmless knock from Cabaye and contrived to beat Howard after escaping the clutches of the otherwise superb Sylvain Distin. The French goal-grabber had a chance to give Martinez his first taste of a Goodison booing when another opportunity presented itself in the dying moments of ‘Kinnear time’, but the (alleged) sexual predator was unable to live up to his ruthless reputation, sending an overly-enthusiastic effort high above the crossbar.

Overall it was a great game marked by several tremendous individual performances, most notably from Lukaku, Mirallas, Coleman and Barkley – whose weekly disaster pass is thankfully happening further and further up the pitch every week. It wasn't perfect by any means, as the visitors’ two goals suggest, but the first-half performance was as good as any there’s been from an Everton side in a long time.