Winter of Discontent

It seems fitting that Everton should find themselves in tenth place after beating Bournemouth 2-0 at Goodison Park on Sunday, having arrived at a point where equally compelling arguments could be made both for and against the club’s prospects under the current regime.

After November brought a run of promising performances that saw them record two dominant home wins over Brighton and Cardiff either side of a very decent draw away at Chelsea, Marco ‘Mario’ Silva’s buoyant Blues entered December filled with the sort of fiery optimism that could only be extinguished by a last-minute defeat at Anfield; and so it was that Jordan Pickford revealed himself to be a fully paid-up member of the alt-Wright, as he inexplicably contrived to turn a routine catch into the catalyst for a potentially season-defining crisis. Still, sickening though it was, Divock Origi’s first goal since ‘Nam could have easily been written off as just the latest perk of whatever Faustian bargain our champagne socialist neighbours made back in the sixties, were it not for the fact that it was followed by a pair of drab home draws against a mid/lower-table bum dossers, and two chastening defeats at the hands of Manchester City and Tottenham. Feliz Navidad it was not.

With pundits and journalists recycling the admittedly disturbing story of Silva’s tendency to turn back into a pumpkin after 18 games or whatever it is, the 5-1 win at Burnley on Boxing Day was timely to say the least. Considering the trouble that Farhad Moshiri went to in order to appoint this manager, you would have to think that he was never in danger of getting the bullet unless the situation spiralled to the point where relegation became a real possibility, but it’s fair to say that catching Burnley before they dropped Joe Hart did much to prevent doubts about him increasing to the point of no return, following truly dire defeats away at Brighton and at home to Leicester. Another stroke of good fortune came in the opportunity for a reprieve from Premier League struggles through the FA Cup third round, as League Two Lincoln City were dispatched with relative ease, albeit with a few unnecessary scares along the way.

Then came the visit of Bournemouth.

The first half an hour was so bad, it was impossible not to wonder if Moshiri was thinking about ringing Talksport and asking if the spectre at the carvery would like to deposit another £10m into his Cayman Islands account. Thankfully, however, the Cherries are an even bigger gang of fair-weather farts than Everton, and so the momentum began to swing in the home side’s favour after positive play from Ademola Lookman and Bernard led to a couple of half-chances being created as the interval approached. This carried over into the second half, until the deadlock was finally broken when Lucas Digne dug out a brilliant cross from a less than ideal position, allowing Kurt Zouma to power in front of Asmir Begovic and guide a well-placed header past the flailing goalkeeper. The relief around the ground was palpable, although the nerviness soon returned after Michael Keane repeated the trick that should have seen him dropped following Jamie Vardy’s winner for Leicester, only this time the big stiff idiot got away with it as Joshua King fired high and wide.

There were yet more moments of panic, such as when Dan Gosling somehow managed to saunter through and find himself one on one with Jordan Pickford, requiring Keane to atone for his aforementioned error with a last-ditch tackle of England’s Brave John Terry proportions. There was then the obligatory period where the visitors seem to win a corner every 30 seconds of the final ten minutes, before substitute Dominic Calvert-Lewin finally put the game to bed with a tidy finish right at the death, following more good work from Lookman down the left flank. The young striker became the second Everton player to cup his ear to the Gwladys after scoring a goal this season, in a strange move that spoke to an issue with the fan base that I didn’t even realise existed. I suppose he could just be bitter about the fact that some wags have taken to referring to his best friend Tom Davies as Pony Grant, but it was a confusing choice of celebration nevertheless.

All in all, things are pretty much whatever you want to make of them at the moment. Pickford looks to have finally settled a bit since the derby debacle – he made an excellent save at the feet of a Bournemouth player (I forget who) towards the end on Sunday – and the majority of Marcel Brands’s summer recruits have hit the ground running, with only Yerry Mina yet to establish himself in the starting line-up. Digne and Zouma both look to be quality additions to the defence, and Keane and Mina will each be given plenty of opportunities to convince the manager that they are the long-term answer at centre-back. It must, however, be said that Seamus Coleman’s days as a top-level player look to have come to an end, as the apparent loss of a physical edge that once made him one of the best right-backs in the country has left his technical deficiencies woefully exposed. It was sad to see him being targeted as a weak link by Spurs last month, and the mis-control that led to a Bournemouth corner with the team already under the cosh was a perfect of example why now is the time to move him on.

The further up the pitch that Brands looks, the more he seems to have his work cut out. Andre Gomes is a tremendous footballer, but with no purchase option built into the loan agreement with Barcelona, there’s no way of knowing whether or not he’ll still be here beyond the end of this season. Alongside Gomes, Idrissa Gana Gueye continues to frustrate with his terrible passing, while Morgan Schneiderlin and James McCarthy offer so little in reserve that it’s hardly worth having them on the books. Theo Walcott seems to have gone off the boil completely after making a positive start to his Everton career, looking so disinterested that you question if his heart is still in it, now that it’s become abundantly clear that playing and scoring regularly has done nothing to improve his chances of featuring for England under Gareth Southgate. If, as appears to be the case, there is no means of bringing in a striker this month, I’d be in favour of giving Walcott a run through the centre, where his pace and finishing could be better-utilised, and the player himself could perhaps feel rejuvenated by a change of scenery. It would also allow Richarlison to move back out onto the wing, where the Brazilian is far more dangerous.

Bernard and Lookman have both had impressive outings in recent weeks, but, despite his fine goal return, Gylfi Sigurdsson remains something of an enigma. The departure of Wayne Rooney last summer has enabled the Iceland captain to start week in, week out as the team’s attacking fulcrum, given licence to roam and affect the game as he sees fit, but all too often he simply stands up front, leaving the two centre-midfielders to get hopelessly overrun in what becomes almost a 4-2-4 formation. Without a centre forward to hold the ball up and link the play, the onus is on him to provide an outlet to the deeper midfielders and involve the wingers, and unfortunately, for all of his technical qualities, he doesn’t appear to be capable of doing that job. Taking into account his age and the fee that Steve Walsh was duped into paying for him, as well as the wages that he’ll presumably be earning, it’s difficult to think of too many potential destinations for Sigurdsson, but at the same time, it’s hard to see where he fits into the type of high-energy, quick tempo system that Silva talks about wanting to implement.

Over to you, Marcel.