Roberto Martinez wasted no time in getting Seamus Coleman, James McCarthy and Ross Barkley back into his starting line-up, and if for some reason anyone was wondering why, all three were quick to show the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the world exactly what this Everton team has been missing.
Barkley in particular was superb right from the off, bridging the massive gap which tends to open between the holding midfielders and whoever replaces the England starlet in the ‘Cahill role’ during his absences. In a week which saw David Moyes’ return to the world of self-serving interviews (reaching the quarter finals of the Champions League with Manchester United is nothing to be sniffed at, he’ll have you know), it was doubly satisfying to see Barkley get straight back to playing with the air of a man who knows his manager trusts him implicitly. It never gets old watching him show experienced campaigners less than zero respect.
In fact, it was from one such act of contempt that the first goal came. Barkley fired a shot near post which ‘asked a question’ of Brad Guzan – presumably, ‘what are you going to do about this, Elmer Fudd?’ – and to be fair to the permanently bewildered-looking American, he correctly answered, ‘C. Put it behind for a corner.’ Ignoring the ire which follows every set piece ever taken short, the wonderful Leighton Baines played a one-two, shimmied past some fool and delivered a peach of a cross with his weaker right foot. The ball eluded Romelu Lukaku’s weird downward jump, but thankfully found its way into the path of captain Phil Jagielka, who opened the scoring with a guided header after just 18 minutes.
Villa actually looked decent in the first half, albeit in a non-threatening sort of way. Kieran Richardson and dodged bullet Tom Cleverly move the ball neatly in midfield, but with Christian Benteke searching for post-injury form and Gabriel Agbonlahor still being ever the eight goal a-season forward, there was a feeling that the points were pretty much in the bag once Everton got their noses in front.
Buoyed by the early introduction of comedy centre back Ciaran Clark from the bench, Lukaku had his best game in a while, although he still looks a bit crap whenever opposition defenders manage to stand him up and stop his momentum. Luckily though, there’s no danger of that happening with Clark, as demonstrated on 48 minutes when he contrived to stand two yards wrong side of his man, allowing the big Belgian to drag Barkley’s under-hit pass out from under his feet and get off a shot which Guzan inexplicably failed to keep out.
Scoring right after a team has had their half-time rollicking is always a sure-fire way of taking the wind out of their sails, and that’s exactly what happened here. Whatever plan Paul Lambert and Roy Keane had outlined during the break was on its arse less than three minutes after the restart, and judging by their players’ reactions, they didn't bother thinking of a backup.
Speaking of Keane, how is his beard back already? Did he knock Father Christmas off his roof or something, like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause?
With the visitors seemingly resolved to saving their legs for next week, Martinez sent on Steven Pienaar for the last half an hour or so. Everton are always much more calm and measured in possession when the South African schemer plays, so it was great to see him get vital minutes in a game where he was unlikely to be booted into row Z by some over-zealous yard dog. He still drew fouls though – having never quite mastered the Arteta ‘fall on the ball and award yourself a free kick before they touch you’ trick – one of which led to Leon Osman releasing Baines down the left, and the coolest footballer on Merseyside getting his head up and picking out Coleman’s near post run before the Lower Gwladys had finished berating Lukaku for loitering on the edge of the box.
According to some Twitter statto, Baines has now notched more assists in his last ten games than England rivals Kieran Gibbs and Luke Shaw have managed in their entire careers. It does make you wonder why the press are so desperate for one of those two non-entities to usurp Baines’ spot in the national team, especially when neither will ever be as good as he is in a million years.
At 3-0 Lambert said, ‘no mas,’ and in an act of fealty replaced Benteke with Joe Cole – a player too finished for Sam Allardyce. Martinez accepted the surrender, the Villains were spared any further humiliation, and Lambert and Keane confirmed their status as the new age Walter and Archie.
Up next: the Mongol horde, resplendent in Europa League fishing hats, descends upon the unsuspecting citizens of Lille.
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