Cleverly Fills Kop

That could have been a headline if Tom Cleverly’s proposed move to Everton had gone through, and then been followed by him wading through the crowd at Anfield in three weeks’ time, windmilling punches at his red foes.

However, for better or worse, a deal didn’t materialise before the transfer window was boarded shut like a family home within John Henry’s Lebensraum territory, and so the Blues are forced to go ‘with what they’ve got,’ to quote a certain ginger dolite.

The prospect of making do with the current crop seemed significantly less ominous before late lapses in concentration against Leicester City and Arsenal turned respectable 2-1s into a pair of disappointing 2-2s (or Desmonds, for the academic snobs amongst you). Add in the thrilling but ultimately worrying 6-3 home defeat at the hands of champions elect Chelsea and it’s easy to see why some are getting tetchy.

Roberto Martinez will obviously have seen all of this, especially now that he's 50ft tall and living on the side of the Main Stand, and with the ever-annoying first international break upon us there’s nothing to do but have faith that he’ll sort things out in time for the next game away at West Brom.

Still, there’s plenty to be optimistic about. I for one never believed I’d see Everton pull of a transfer on the scale of Romelu Lukaku’s £28m move from Chelsea, and despite us being all, like, ‘so tense, never tenser – could all go a bit John Spencer,’ Samuel Eto’o looks equipped to make a contribution which belies his advancing years. Transfer-wise there’s also the return of Gareth Barry and development of new signing Muhamed ‘not fucking there, lad,’ Besic to get excited about.

Fingers have been pointed at the back four and goalkeeper that have conceded ten goals in just three games, and rightly so, but the most pressing issue for Martinez to address is possibly the role of James McCarthy. Everyone’s heard the jokes about him getting across more ground than the Russian infantry, but the fact is that his constant covering out wide seems to be leaving him exhausted towards the end of games, as evidenced by the roasting he’s uncharacteristically received at the hands of Santi Cazorla and Eden Hazard in recent weeks.

So yeah, the squad still looks a bit thin, but perhaps Milford men Darron Gibson, Arouna Kone and Antolin Alcaraz will get off their arses and pitch in.